Blog 5: Cali Ruth Hays

In The Defining Decade, Meg Jay portrays a dating metaphor, which a client told her about, that really hits deep. The client said that dating in your twenties was like musical chairs. Everyone is having fun and dating around, but once you hit 30, the music stopped and everyone starting sitting or settling down. The client felt like the only one left without a chair, and this is a harsh reality. By your late twenties, it will seem that all your friends are settling down and getting married and there is a massive fear that you will be left behind. There is a large amount of pressure for people to be married by the time they reach their thirties and I think this is both a good and bas thing. Yes, it is important to search for the person who you will spend the rest of your life with, but you definitely don't want to end up running out of time and settling with the person you're with, when you know they're not the right one. Many people fall into this trap and marry the closest person to them because they fear ending up single. This eventually leads to divorce or struggling marriages. While we are in our twenties, we need to date wisely and be with someone who brings out the best in us. It is stupid to marry someone just because everyone else has found their spouse and you're worried about being left out. Although the age to get married has increased, Jeremy Uecker and Charles Stokes still found that more than a quarter of women and 15% of men marry before their 23rd birthday. This is extremely young and only puts more pressure on our generation to be dating and find a spouse as soon as possible. The notion that "you can't pick your family" is not accurate. Obviously, you can't pick the family that your spouse comes from and they might not be your favorite people, but you definitely can pick your family that you will grow old with. You can pick your spouse and raise your children to be how you want them to be. You have the right and privilege to determine how your future will be.
In this generation, hookups and casual sex have become too prominent. Girls participate in these acts in order to feel wanted and hope at least one of the hookups turns into something more than just that. People date others based on looks or how good the sex is. More often than not, relationships are centered around these two things instead of actually investing in who the other person truly is. Instead, couples need to be alike and find things they have in common in order to be compatible with each other. People say that opposites attract, but I don't think that is true. The more similar two people are, the more they are able to understand and support one another. Relationships should be about genuinely liking the person you are with, not just looks and good sex. The Restored Church of God discusses how dating in the 21st century is centered around technology. Conventional dating has become less and less common as the years pass by. It also says how 21st century dating is less about finding someone to be with in the long run and more about finding someone who will be fun for the moment.

Ambrose, R. Jeffrey & Palm, L. Stacey. (2018). Dating in the 21st Century. Retrieved from https://rcg.org/realtruth/articles/090203-003-society.html

Jay, Meg. The Defining Decade. 2012. New York, NY. Machete Book Group.

Stokes, E. Charles & Uecker, E. Jeremy. (2008). Early Marriage in the United States. Retrieved from
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2841346/